McGrotty and Ludmilla by Alasdair Gray

Author:Alasdair Gray
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Canongate Books

19

WHEN THE MINISTER CALMED DOWN he said, “McGrotty.”

“Call me Mungo,” said McGrotty.

“Mungo,” said the Minister, “if the P.M. asks me for the Harbinger Report I will tell her the truth, for it is the only thing I know. All my life I have tried to be honest and I am a creature of habit. The truth I will tell her — that Harbinger insisted on sending his Report to my office instead of hers; that an employee in my office has stolen the Report; that he will not return it till he has seduced my daughter — this truth will make her think me a very clumsy liar who is plotting against her. This truth will destroy me politically, socially and (I fear) psychologically. But where is the lie which will make her think me honest?”

“On your desk!” said McGrotty eagerly, for he wanted to help his future father-in-law and hated the cruel way Shots had used him.

“My desk?”

“Put these blank pages back in the envelope,” said McGrotty, “and phone her before she phones you.

Tell her exactly what you thought half an hour ago, before old Arthur said these nasty things to you. Say Harbinger sent you an envelope full of blank paper.”

The Minister pondered. Yes, that story made sense. All Whitehall knew Harbinger had been brought to the verge of madness by a job which was too big for him. All Whitehall knew Harbinger had come to dread the outcome of his Report far more than those mentioned in it, for he was one and they were many. It was highly likely that he never wrote his Report or — having written it — faltered at the last moment, destroyed it, and posted blank sheets as a delaying tactic while summoning courage to kill himself. McGrotty, anxiously reading the Minister’s tearfully cherubic features, saw the dawn of a childlike hope. McGrotty lifted the telephone and quietly told Mrs Bee that the Minister had urgent information he wished to convey to the P.M. by word of mouth. The Minister did not deny this but squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and accepted the receiver from McGrotty’s hand.

“Prime Minister!” he said. “I must tell you I phoned Harbinger yesterday, to press for the Report, you know, and he spoke very oddly . . . You will check that? How can you . . . ? Oh, I see. Well, I’m glad the line was bugged because the tape will confirm that I . . .”

He spoke for five or six minutes, then put the phone down and dabbed his eyes with his handkerchief.

“She believed me!” he said with a small catch in his voice. “She even seemed relieved and oh, so am I. Forget what her enemies say, McGrotty, she is not a hard woman but tenderhearted, and in a quiet way truly religious. She called Harbinger a saint who had died for the sins of the Nation.

She said she had thought the Report a mere waste of time at

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